I dressed in my favorite ninja outfit for my short run today, including all my new winter doodads. Put on my UnderArmour cold gear top, my Nike Pro winter weight running tights, my new headwrap-because-I-hate-hats, gloves... the whole 9 yards. Before adding the jacket I was Ninja Girl, ready to conquer the universe. I was feeling mighty fine... even took a picture of myself. Once I added the jacket and my iPod I was some serious bad mama.
You know how they say you learn something new every day? Well today I learned that when you drop enough weight from running, your pants will no longer stay up. Thank goodness I added my I'm-Bad jacket or I'd have been in serious trouble. While I have certainly been losing weight and getting more fit from all this crazy running, my Four Babies in Six Years stomach does not ever again deserve to see the light of day. As I was running along, I started noticing slippage of pants right away. Another half mile and my not so tights were down around my hipbones, while my top was slowly traveling north. I decided to ignore it, because my jacket would cover all, but another half mile and I knew I was going to have to do something, lest I become a penguin runner. So now I'm running and hiking up pants, running and hiking up pants. I'd give them a good tug, then put up with the slippage until I entered the danger zone, then tug again.
This was all moderately tolerable until I started to warm up. I ditched the gloves first and got them zipped into my pockets. Next I unzipped my jacket as far as I could without exposing myself. Meanwhile I'm running and hiking, running and hiking. Imagine the graceful, Ninja image I presented as I hitched my gitalong down the road. On the last hill back up to my house I finally decided to try wrapping the jacket around my waist because I was just plain hot by that point. First I tied it tight, but slippage was still at risky levels above and below the knot. Next I tried loosening the jacket's knot, thinking it could ride a bit lower and cover the unacceptable stomach. Nope. Now my pants are slipping and so is my jacket.
Finally I just plain gave up and walked the rest of the way up the hill. Some things are just not meant to be.
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