Giving Yourself the Willies

Know how to do it?  Peel your toenails off... that will do it. 

This morning my first two post-marathon nails came off.  OH MY GOSH.  Gross.  :P  Big toenails are still in place, but the #2 toes on both feet are now nail-less.  So disgusting.  At first I got the serious willies, then I thought it was kind of cool, then I picked the cuticles off the toenails sitting in my palm.  Once that was through I promptly started grossing out as many of my children as possible.  haha ~ that was fun!  :)  George, Mr. Former Army Medic, refused to be grossed out, but the kids were quite satisfying. 

On a more encouraging note, I went for a little 3 mile run in the sunshine with my cousin Windy this morning.  She was here from Denver for a few days with her family and so out we went.  The weather was gorgeous and it was good to have someone drag me out the door. 

Loved running with you, Win.  Never thought I'd be doing that!

Pushing the Restart Button

When I was training for my marathon I knew I would experience some burn out after it was over.  I tried to put a couple of safeguards in place beforehand to help me over the hump afterward, thinking that might make a difference.  Here I am, 5 weeks post-marathon and I am definitely still in burn out. 

I tried to run alone~ torture.  Feels like I'm dragging the weight of the world behind me.  I tried to run with Blanca and with Julie, and that was definitely better.  Still, my motivation is so, so low.  Honestly, I just don't want to do it!  Julie is plowing through her Hippie Chick training, stronger than ever and full of motivation.  Blanca and Debbie are likewise training with a group and getting stronger by the minute.  Meanwhile, I am wallowing a bit, trying to stay out of the brownies and feeling guilty and stressed about it.  There are 8 weeks till the half marathon.  I don't have TIME to be wallowing.

So what's a girl to do?  I decided this weekend to quit beating myself up about it, for one thing.  I knew I would struggle, and I am.  In an effort to not go completely belly up I am meeting Kirsten at the gym, doing weights and a bit of cardio.  I've tried to do some food journaling to get my eating under control, but I keep crashing and burning on that, too.  I keep climbing back on the wagon and then tumbling off again.

There's not much point to this post, I guess, other than to say that life is real and sometimes real means I must confess that I don't want to do it.  So there. 

Don't worry, I'll figure this out.